Many of you have been following the progress of the swine flu, or more correctly the H1N1 virus, as it threatens Western civilization with near certain doom. Well it turns out I may have just shown the world how to save itself. You're all welcome.Last Thursday I came down with a fever, headache, body aches, sore throat, and upset stomach. These are your standard flu symptoms with only one complication - it's August. Who gets the flu in August?
So being the concerned citizen I am, I checked the student health center website at CU and, sure enough, CU was experiencing an outbreak of swine flu. It seems that as the masses of undergrads returned to campus, some of them had brought death along for the semester. AND IT WAS SPREADING! TO ME!
After checking that my symptoms matched those infected by the swine flu, I called up my ever-reliable student health center (yay for student health care!), who informed me that I probably had swine flu, but that since I didn't have cancer, bullet wounds, or an advanced case of polio, they had to leave me on my own and save those weaker than myself. So with nothing more than generic cold medicine and orange juice, I was left to fight for my life.
And fight I did. I fought for nearly 60 hours between Thursday night and Monday morning. To the untrained eye this fighting may have looked like sleeping, but I tell you it was intense. And when it was done, I stood alone on the cellular battlefield. I DEFEATED THE SWINE FLU! (maybe)
So if any of you come down with swine flu, follow my lead. Take generic cold medication, drink orange juice, and sleep your heart out. You too might make it through this flu season alive.
Wow Nick, you are the first person I personally know who may have battled with swine flu! I'm glad to see you are surviving.
ReplyDeleteWere you scared at all when you realized you probably had it?
Unfortunately, some believe the outbreaks are going to get worse again. Hopefully they are wrong.
"but I tell you it was intense." How does swine flu compare in intensity to normal flu?
ReplyDeleteIn all seriousness, if it was swine flu (and from what the student health center told me, they haven't seen a flu case that wasn't swine flu in the past couple weeks), it really wasn't that bad. I had the flu last winter and while this was perhaps a little more intense (higher fever, more of that sick ache-y feeling), it also didn't last as long. The most interesting thing was how tired it made me - I have never slept so much in my life.
ReplyDeleteThe worst part is that I was most infectious the day before I presented symptoms, so I may have unknowingly infected my office-mate who is getting married this Saturday.
ReplyDeleteOh poor little Nicky Boo Boo.
ReplyDeleteBoo-Boo Be-Do De-Boo-Boo. Nicky-Icky-Boo. Okay, get better dude!
ReplyDeleteTammy, Wow. I almost died when I read this.
ReplyDeleteSo Tammy's cure was almost worse than the disease?
ReplyDeleterameumptom, :), yes Tammy seems to have magical incantation. Where did you get it Tammy?
ReplyDelete